Valerie Mmanthe Mampshika, [ Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and English ]
So you have caught your partner cheating, or he or she has come forward and confessed. Now what? Is the relationship over? The answer to the questions is dependent on whether you want it to be over or not. Unfortunately for some individuals infidelity sexual or emotional is a deal breaker in any relationship. Trust is shattered and healing is nearly impossible, and walking away might be only choice in some instances. Fortunately for others cheating might be a devastating issue but not a deathly blow. In most cases infidelity can kill a relationship or serve as a wake-up call and provide an opportunity to make healthy developments which will sustain it for the long term. If individuals love their partners and they want to stay committed it us crucial to keep this in mind…you choose how you feel and react but you should acknowledge your hurt and approach the problem with the goal of healing. Below there is a 12-step guide to surviving infidelity.
Step 1-Forget about the statistics, stereotypes and generalisations.
Step 2-Replace blame with understanding why your partner cheated.
Step 3-Resist the urge to punish (be the bigger person).
Step 4-Avoid revenge sex to feel better
Step 5-Do not tell the whole world (confide in one person you trust).
Step 6-Do not become the police (no stalking).
Step 7-Do not desert (do not cut off communication).
Step 8-Come together around the unmet needs (such as affection and attention).
Step 9-Try not to take it personally (it may not be about you).
Step 10-Separate how you feel about the cheating from how you feel about your partner to make the right decision.
Step 11-Always remember that trust is fragile (your partner should not feel ignored).
Step 12-Forgive but do not forget (NB. Do not hold grudges).
Most importantly the partner that cheated should change their ways, and that might be one of the factors to determine the outcome of the relationship after cheating.
#Spirit_Sundays_with Valerie Mampshika☺
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